Exchange of Rings
The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America affirms that when the Holy Eucharist (Communion) is celebrated, the sacrament should be administered to the entire gathering.
The Church acknowledges the freedom of individuals to make their wedding meaningful and personal. However, we stress the fact that the marriage ceremony is a Christian worship service.
The wedding party comes to God’s House asking His blessing. Nothing should be done which would nullify the primary reason for desiring the wedding to be held in the Sanctuary of God.
A license to perform the marriage must be presented to the officiating Pastor before the wedding service, preferably before the rehearsal.
The wedding will not take place without this license in the Pastor’s possession.
ORDER OF SERVICE BULLETIN AND REHEARSAL
The Wedding Rehearsal is typically held the day prior to the wedding. By the time of the rehearsal, the pastor and bridal couple should have come to a full understanding of the order of service, which is typically summarized in the wedding bulletin (also referred to as a folder).
When a bulletin is used, any proposed order should be submitted to the presiding pastor, preferably by e-mail, no later than three weeks in advance of the wedding day. All musical selections, readings, etc. which are to be included should be provided in this communication. The pastor and staff musician for the wedding will review this proposed order and negotiate any needed changes with the bridal couple, before the bulletin should be finalized and printed.
The pastor presides over the rehearsal and has final authority over the activity, order, placement and movement of the participants. There is no appropriate role for a wedding coordinator, personal representative, et al. in the workings of the rehearsal. The bridal couple will do well to make appropriate and full use of advance consultation with the presiding pastor, in order to ascertain the particulars of the service.
CANDLE LIGHT WEDDINGS
Weddings which are scheduled for evenings, occasionally desire to make use of candlelight. Candles may not be attached to pews. Candles can be placed in the windows using the church’s candleholders.
Cost of candles for candle light weddings must be assumed by the bridal party.
Arrangements for procuring candles are completed through the Church Office.
Because of the time involved with custodial time for a candle light wedding, an additional $50 is added to the sexton’s honorarium.
A “Unity Candle”, a candle that is lit jointly by the bride and groom immediately following the exchange of wedding vows and rings, may be used. A Unity Candle should be purchased by the bridal party, and brought to the church at the time of the rehearsal.
PHOTOGRAPHY AND VIDEO TAPING
Almost all wedding parties record some portion of the wedding service with still photography and many wedding parties desire to record video of their wedding ceremonies. Video recording is quite permissible but, under certain guidelines and limits. There are certain camera locations which are more desirable than others. Camera operators are to remain stationary and to execute their duties unobtrusively. Whether with a professional photographer or amateur volunteer, one person only should be involved in each activity (photography and videography) during the worship service. Before any service is photographed or otherwise recorded, the photographer or video operator must check with the presiding pastor in ample time before the service so that expectations and guidelines can be explained and followed. Under no conditions (except as outlined for a pre-set video recoder, as outlined below) will cameras be permitted in the Chancel area. Recording done from the rear balcony with a zoom lens produces a very satisfactory product. The Pastor will assist, when given proper opportunity, in selection of effective locations and methods for securing a satisfying result.
Photographs, other than time exposures from the rear of the church will not be allowed at any time during the body of the worship service. Flash pictures may be taken before the Invocation and after the Benediction. Instruct your photographer accordingly; the photographer and/or videographer should check in with the pastor, before the ceremony.
While your wedding may be recorded with a equipment only in an approved and discrete area in the chancel, the videographer is not allowed to stand with the equipment during the service.
The Pastor will assist, when given proper opportunity, in selection of effective locations and methods for securing a satisfying result.
Thank you for your cooperation in refraining from the use of rice, confetti, bubbles, or birdseed in the Church building. It is not recommended for environmental purposes, as well as difficulty in cleaning up, outside the Church building.
The Fellowship Hall of Trinity Church is available for wedding receptions. You should be aware that the Church has a no alcohol policy.
Arrangements for use of the Fellowship Hall should be made through the Church Office. No reception is permitted to begin on Saturdays later than 2:00 p.m. and must conclude by 5:00 p.m. Receptions held on weeknight evenings should not conflict with other church programming and activities and must conclude by 11:00 p.m.
Members of Trinity Church are permitted use of the kitchen and its facilities for food preparation. Arrangements for use of the kitchen must be made through the Church Office.
Caterers must provide all their own preparation and serving equipment.
The women’s group of Trinity Church can be available to serve the food and beverage of both members and non-members weddings. They are responsible only for serving, not for food preparation. Arrangements for this service must be made through the Church Office.
Before the decorating of the Fellowship Hall is planned or begun, the Pastor must be consulted.
The time allotted for receptions should not exceed three hours.
Deposit -0- $400
Minister Honorarium $200
Minister of Music $150 $150
Soloist $ 50 $ 50
Instrumentalist $100 $100
Use of Sanctuary -0- $150
Use of Chapel -0- $ 75
Use of Fellowship Hall (for reception) $100 $200
o No Reception $100 $100
o With Reception $150 $150
oWith Candlelight +$50 n/a
Bulletins Actual Cost Actual Cost
Secretary $25 $ 35
Candle Light Service Actual Cost n/a
Receptions (Church Women serving)
o Guests up to 100 $50 $ 60
o Guests 101-200 $60 $ 75
o Guests over 200 $70 $100
The total balance of all fees, except the Pastors fee or honorarium should be paid by check made out to Trinity Lutheran Church and delivered to the church office no later than one week before the scheduled wedding. The Church Office will be responsible for the distribution of fees. Fees are subject to change upon periodic review.
Those who schedule weddings with Trinity must also pay the required deposit before the facility will be reserved for your intended date and time.
Once your wedding has been properly scheduled, the Senior Pastor and music staff may help you plan your wedding.
Couples must also fulfill all financial obligations in a timely manner, with final payment for services rendered by the church itself received by Trinity Lutheran Church no later than one month before the intended wedding date.
Please understand that this congregation and its leadership bear a role in oversight with couples preparing to be married here. This oversight is over the spiritual welfare of the couple and the public Christian character of worship services conducted here.
The character of all worship events taking place at Trinity necessarily always reflects on the identity of this congregation and our esteem for Jesus Christ's authority and surpassing grace.
Your understanding of and respect for these values and principles is necessary and appreciated.
About Christian Weddings
God instituted marriage, and you have His promise that He will bless you and all who enter this holy relationship. Follow God’s directions and your marriage will be for you a joyful, life-long adventure.
Your marriage union to your beloved will be the second most important union of your life. The first came in your Baptism when you were united with Christ and his church. St. Paul said in Ephesians 5, “for as many of you as have been baptized into Christ has put on Christ;” and in Romans 6, “You have been united with Christ.”* It is this first union with Jesus Christ that gives your marriage union its greatest meaning and strength. There is nothing on earth that is stronger than two loving partners who are committed to Christ and united in the bonds of holy matrimony. It is the unity that you share in Christ that bonds not only your bodies and your time, but also your soul and your whole life together as one. Jesus Christ, active in your hearts and available in your prayers will be the strong bond who keeps you not only surviving but thriving as a couple through all the changes and chances of life.
Unity with Christ influences the way we approach (1) your Preparation for marriage (2) the Wedding Day and (3) your Marriage.
1) It influences your Preparation for marriage because through Christ and his church you have the great benefit of focusing your time and attention on what is most important and helpful: your relationship with each other and God’s power to make your relationship stronger.
2) It influences your Wedding Day because this day becomes no mere ceremony but a worship service in which Christians give glory to God and direct their attention to the One who makes life-long unions a life-enriching blessing.
3) It influences your Marriage, because your new relationship becomes a vocation through which you and your spouse are empowered to follow Jesus Christ in his mission to save the world.
So let’s collaborate in planning your wedding to the Glory of our God who stands ready to bless you with his love.
We feel a tremendous weight of responsibility to provide you with sound biblical counsel on which to build your marriage. We are not a wedding chapel and do not approach our relationship with you as a business venture. It is our desire to help build lives that are glorifying to God in every way possible. In light of this, we require the following from you before your wedding can take place.
You will meet several times with the presiding pastor for your wedding ceremony.
The first two sessions will involve completion of the Prepare Inventory, There are several goals of the PREPARE/ENRICH Program. In order to achieve these goals there are exercises designed to help couples improve their relationship skills. The program helps couples:
· Explore strength and growth areas
· Strengthen communication skills
· Identify and manage major stressors
· Resolve conflict using the Ten Step Model
· Develop a more balanced relationship
· Explore family of origin issues
· Discuss financial planning and budgeting
· Establish personal, couple and family goals
· Understand and appreciate personality differences
Over 2.5 million couples have taken the PREPARE/ENRICH Program (5 million people) since it began in 1980.
The inventories have been utilized by over 75,000 trained clergy members, professional counselors, mentors, and marriage educators throughout the U.S.
A fee of $30 is collected from the marrying couple, which covers the use and processing of the Prepare instrument.
MORE ABOUT THE WORSHIP SERVICE –
The Procession into the church is a dramatic moment at the beginning of the wedding service. We encourage couples to think about what they want this moment to symbolize.
While it is familiar to most for the bride to be escorted and then “given in marriage” by her father, the original meaning of this ritual as “transaction” no longer applies in our day. If the bride is escorted by her father alone, might the father represent the entire family and symbolize their support and joy in this union? Rather than “Who gives this woman…?” might parents respond to “Who blesses (or who presents) this bride (and groom) in Holy Matrimony?” Better yet, might both parents (when possible) escort the bride? Might the parents of the groom also escort him? Think about it.
Ushers are an important part of any wedding with more than just a few guests. The majority of people arrive 15 minutes before the service begins and without ushers, this would be a very confusing time. It is important that you select two ushers for weddings of 100 guests or less and at least four for weddings of more than 100 guests. The duties of the ushers are as follows:
1) Attend rehearsal so that instructions and directions can be given.
2) Light the candles 20 minutes prior to the ceremony.
3) Arrive at least 45 minutes before the time of the wedding.
4) When accompanying a to their seats, the usher will escort a lady guest on his arm, while a gentleman guest accompanying the lady will follow. Hand the wedding program to the man as he takes his seat. If there are two ladies, it is customary to offer your arm to the oldest one.
5) The bridal party will inform the ushers as to how many pews they would like reserved for the immediate families. Usually the groom’s parents are seated on the right side of the main aisle and the bride’s on the left.
6) The grandparents of the bridal couple may be ushered in. Next, the parents of the groom are ushered in and seated. The mother of the bride-if not participating in the procession- is last to be ushered in.
7) When the ceremony is over, the ushers will escort out the parents and grandparents of the couple so the reception line may be formed. Then they may usher out the guests.
SHOULD YOU WISH TO HAVE THE PRESIDING PASTOR PRESENT AT YOUR REHEARSAL DINNER AND/OR REPCEPTION
At your reception you may wish to have the presiding pastor present, and many couples request that the pastor offer the blessing for the meal. If it is possible for the pastor to attend your reception, and that is your wish, it is important that this request be made well in advance. The best time to make this request is at (or before) the time that you issue invitations to your guests for the wedding celebration. The same principles apply with regard to the presiding pastor's presence at your rehearsal dinner.
The Vows are the centerpiece of the worship around which everything revolves. Choose or write vows in consultation with the presiding pastor. Below are a few suggested options.
1. I , _________________, take you ___________, to be my wedded wife/husband in all happiness and sorrow, all and all loss, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live. And as a token thereof, I give you this ring.
2. I promise to you, ________________, all that I am and have: all my love, all my hopes and all happiness and peace that my soul can offer, so that we may live together in love and peace with God and ourselves as long as we both shall live. And as a token of the love and life we will share together,I give you this ring.
3. I , _________________, take you ___________, to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold form this day forth, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, ‘til death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance [or Word or plan], [and thereunto I pledge you my troth/faithfulness.] And as a token thereof [of this], I give you this ring.
4. I , _________________, take you ___________, to be my wedded wife/husband. I promise to be with you in all that is to come, to love and to respect, to care and to console, to share the sorrows and the joys that lie ahead. I promise to be faithful to you and honest with you: I will share my life with you and pledge myself and all I am in love. As a symbol of the love and life we will share together, I give you this ring.
5. I , _________________, take you ___________, to be my wedded wife/husband, to love you in prosperity and adversity as long as we both shall live. And as a token thereof [of this], I give you this ring.
6. I , _________________, take you ___________, to be my wedded wife/husband, in good times and bad, and I promise to be faithful in all ways; to be gentle, patient, and understanding, and give all I have to meeting our mutual needs, as long as we both shall live. As a token of the love and life we will share together, I give you this ring.
7. I , _________________, take you, ___________, to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish as long as we both shall live. And as a token thereof [of this], I give you this ring.
8. I take you ______________, to be my (wife/husband), and these things I promise you: I will be faithful and honest with you; I will respect and trust, help and care for you; I will honor you with my body; I will share my life with you; I will forgive you as we have been forgiven; and I will try with you to better understand ourselves, the world, and God through the best and the worst of what is to come as long as we live. As a symbol of the love and life we will share together, I give you this ring.
9. I , _________________, take you, ___________, to be my wedded wife/husband. I promise to you all my love and all my hopes, with all the happiness and peace that my soul can offer. As a symbol of the love and life we will share together, I give you this ring.
10. I promise to you, ___________, all that I am and have. All the love, hopes, and happiness that my soul can offer. As a symbol of the love and life we will share together, I give you this ring.
11. I take you, _____________, to be my wife/husband. I promise before God and these witnesses to be your faithful husband/wife, to share with you in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, to forgive and strengthen you and to join with you so that together we may serve God and others as long as we both shall live. As a symbol of the love and life we will share together, I give you this ring.
12. _________________, I take you to be my wife/husband from this time onward, to join with you and to share all that is to come, to give and receive, to speak and to listen, to inspire and to respond, and in all circumstances of our life together to be loyal to you, with my whole life and being. As a symbol of the love and life we will share together, I give you this ring.
MUSIC SELECTION SUGGESTIONS
Consult with the Trinity staff musician working with you for additional options.
For Processionals and Recessionals:
· Allegro Maestoso from Water Music -G.F. Handel
· Trumpet Tune -Michael McCabe
· Epithalame -Heally Willan
· Fanfare -Guy Eldridge
· Fanfare and Processional -Douglas Wagner
· Trumpet Voluntary -John Stanley
· God of Grace and God of Glory -Paul Manz
· Fanfare -Jacques Lemmens
· Holy God We Praise Thy Name -Flor Peters
· Trumpet Finale -Josef Roman
· Finale From Suite in D -William Boyce
· Finale From Royal Fireworks -G.F. Handel
· Allegro Maestoso from Water Music -G.F. Handel
· The Emperor’s Fanfare -Antonio Soler
· Abide with Me -J.S. Bach
· Arioso -J.S. Bach
· Fantasy in C Major -J.S. Bach
· Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring -J.S. Bach
· Rigoudon –Handel
· Aria in F –Handel
· Rondeau –Mouret
· Toccata in F –Widor
· Trumpet Tune in D -Purcell
For Vocal Solos:
· Wedding Blessing –Wetzler
· Wedding Blessing –Pelz
· Wedding Hymn -G.F. Handel
· The Gift of Love -arr. Hopson
· In His Care -L. Sateren
· Jesus Shepherd Be Thou Near Me -J.S. Bach
· Bist Du Bei Mir (Be Thou With Me) -J.S. Bach
· All Good Gifts –Schwartz
· Friends -Michael W. Smith
· God, a Woman and a Man –Green
· He Has Chosen me For You –Terry
· Honestly –Sweet
· Author of Love -Clark
· Love Divine All Loves Excelling
· Hear Us Now, Our God and Father
· Lord of All Hopefulness
· Praise to the Lord, the Almighty
· Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee
· Let All Things Now Living
· Wedding Prayer –Dunlap
· On Eagles Wings –Joncas
· Wedding Song –Stookey
· Two Candles –Salsbury
· All Creatures of Our God and King
· The King of Love My Shepherd Is
· Come, My Way, My Truth, My Life
· Bind us Together, Lord
· I Was There to Hear Your Borning Cry
· Beloved, God’s Chosen
· Jesus Come! For We Invite You
· Now Tank We All Our God
· Morning Star, How Fair and Bright!
· Soul, Adorn Yourself with Gladness
SCRIPTURE READING SUGGESTIONS
You have the opportunity to choose one or more portions of scripture to be read at your wedding. The readings you choose will tell how you have experienced the love of God. The Presiding Pastor is able to assist you in the process of selecting readings which reflect what you wish to offer as means of attending to God's grace in worship.
The Old Testament
· The Creation of Man and Woman - Genesis 1:26-28
· An Unending Promise - Ruth 1:12-18
· The Beauty of Love - Song of Solomon 2:10-13
· A New Covenant - Jeremiah 31:31-3
· The Love of God - Isaiah 54:5-8
· Patience - Isaiah 40:30-32
· The Betrothal of God and Israel - Hosea 2:16-20
· Psalms - 34,37,100, 103, 117, 121, 127, 128, 136, 145, 150
The New Testament
· The Love of Christ - Romans 8:31b-39
· The Life of a Christian - Romans 12:1-2, 9-13
· The Greatest Love - I Corinthians 12:31-13:13
· The Mystery of Marriage - Ephesians 5:1-2, 25-33
· Living in the Love of God - Colossians 3:12-17
· The Love of God - 1 John 4:7-12
· The Marriage Feast of the Lamb - Revelation 19:1, 5-9a
· The Beatitudes - Matthew 5:1-10
· Salt and Light - Matthew 5:13-16
· Build Your House On Christ - Matthew 7:24-29
· What God Has Joined Together - Matthew 19:4-6
· Two Become One - Mark 10:6-9
· Loving God - Mark 12:28-31
· Jesus’ Miraculous Sign of Water into Wine at the Wedding at Cana - John 2:1-11
· Remain in my Love - John 15:9-17